How Do I

I don't really know how to start this, so I'm just going to plunge in....

What do you do when you become a blended family, but there's no room for you....?
I feel so alone and abandoned when the boys are here and it's really hard to be an adult and not resent them for it....
Because it isn't their fault, its their father's.

I love him to death, but he's so focused on how little time he gets with them that he barely enjoys the time he does get.
He does everything running and so I just kind of get run over.....
He has to cram two weeks worth of time into a weekend with them.....
He can't just enjoy the weekend.
I pick them up and he is gone from me until we drop them off..... When I have to pick up the pieces of them being gone again.

Am I the only one going through this? Or anything like this?

I don't know what to do about it.
I've tried talking to him about bed times, so maybe I can get an hour with him, but he runs right over them and my 9 and 11 year old are up until 10, 11, 12, 1 in the morning because he's so concerned with catching lost time....
And when we have them extendedly, I have to deal with the attitudes and the bad moods and everything that goes with them going to bed at 1 and getting up at 6:30....

But they don't really feel like mine....
I thought that's what happens with a blended family....
You make two parts into one.....
But I just feel like I'm an intruder.....

We don't play games together. I maybe sit and watch them play because he turns into "I have to teach them life skills" dad and that ends up bleeding over to include me, so he talks to me like I'm 12. Which I can't stand.
I'm not invited to go walking with them because it's more "I have to have man on man stuff with my boys."

I don't feel like I really belong. The husband says he doesn't invite me because he doesn't feel like I want to, but how can I want to when I don't feel a part of anything they do? I feel like I'm shoving myself into their happy little family....like I've forced my way in....

I can do things with the husband or I can do things with the boys. There's not really a both, because they're all too busy making up for lost time that there's just no room for me.....

~Baby, I don't know what I would do, I'd be lost if I lost you. ~ Lee Ann Womack